News & Updates
April 2, 2018
For every phase of my life, I have encountered someone whom I have clashed with. People who couldn’t even begin to fathom what it is that makes me tick, with the innate ability to cut me down with the exact right comment, at the exact right time, which made me question who I am, what I do, and why I do it. No matter how much I tried to brush it off as ignorance, deep down, I just wanted them to “get it”, to see me for me, and in all reality, I just wanted their acceptance.These people can ruin your life. There’s no other way to say it. The focus and energy we have all wasted at some point in our lives trying to gain acceptance from somebody who isn’t willing to waste any focus or energy on us, has a direct correlation as to how far away we are from accomplishing something truly meaningful, or reaching true happiness. They become walking rabbit holes who divert us from focusing on an ideal, in order to focus on an opinion, all at the cost of our time and even our sanity.Take a hard look at yourself and honestly assess who these people are in your life. (And if you think you don’t have any, look again, because there’s always one.) Maybe you work with them, maybe you went to high school with them, or maybe you grew up with them, and you’re still trying to make them “get it”, even if only in your subconscious. Stick to your guns. They’re not going to get it, and that’s okay. Their acceptance is irrelevant to your journey. Stay focused on an ideal, forget the opinions, and create a life you are willing to accept as your own, because in the end, that’s the only acceptance that actually matters.
November 21, 2017
It’s the uncontrollable, nauseating, pit in your stomach. It’s the sweat in your palms, and running down your back, as a flush of heat comes over your face. It’s the heartbeat thumping out of your shirt, slamming its way up into your throat one thunderous beat at a time. And it’s the uncontrollable shaking in your knees, down into your calves, as the adrenaline courses through your veins, desperately wanting to make contact with the ground like some wild lighting rolling in on the storm. These aren’t the feelings of a near death experience, however, this is how it feels to go “all in”.
It’s no coincidence that going all in on something has the same unmistakable trademarks of a near death experience, because it’s an exercise in finality. It’s an eternal sacrifice of what you are, towards what you want to become, and the permanence of that change is terrifying. So sometimes we decide the stakes of going all in are too high, so we resort to the “fall in”. We keep doing what is comfortable, staying noncommittal, half-assedly throwing our hats into a few rings, hoping we miraculously fall into something great without the stress and anxiety of betting the farm on our vision.
You will never just fall into your vision, and even if you did, it would mean nothing without commitment. With commitment comes sacrifice, sacrifice creates meaning, and meaning drives purpose. So when you finally decide to go all in on something, you are effectively setting into motion a perpetual cycle of purpose fueled by commitment, which will be equally as rewarding as it is terrifying. Stop hoping to fall into your life, and start going all in on your life, because the stakes are high, and a lot could go wrong, but nothing as wrong as a life unfulfilled by the unnerving thrill of committing to something greater than yourself. – CPT Ryan
October 30, 2017
Whether it’s the goals we want to achieve, a life we see for ourselves, or simply wanting to escape our current situation, our minds can often get away from where we’re at and who we are. We become so focused on where we want to be, and all of the problems just getting there could solve for us, we start covering up who we are in order to fit the narrative of that place we see in our mind. This can all lead to feeling perpetually unfulfilled as you start obtaining the “what” without understanding your “why”.“Wherever you go, there you are” as Confucius put it. Or in other words, you can run, you can hide, and you can fake the funk all you want, but at the end of the day, no matter where you are and what you do, it’s still you behind that mask, waiting for you to face yourself. Chase your dreams, pursue your goals, and work like hell to improve your situation, but don’t just do it to run from yourself. Do it to confront yourself.Live your life unmasked, free yourself from the façades, and start dealing with who, what, and where you are so you can start becoming who you want to be, doing what you’re meant to do, where you want to do it. You can escape the people, places, and things, but you can never escape yourself. So why try? You are always going to be there. So you might as well get used to yourself, because you can never be happy with where you are, until you can learn to embrace who you are. – CPT Ryan
October 2, 2017
You Are Not Done
You are not done. Not even close. You may have fallen or peaked, lost or won, but no matter the case, you are not done. Life is nothing but ups and downs, twists and turns, and if you are living with fire, you’re bound to get burned. But don’t let the trials dampen your flame, because in the end, they’re never to blame. So pick yourself up, and rage like the sun, because I can tell you for sure, that you are not done.
You’re in a story which must be lived to be told, and it may not be clear until you’re wise, gray, and old. But the very last page ends the same as page one, you may be a lot of things, but you are not done. You are not done ’til you draw you last breath, and even with that, there is life after death. Because after your gone, and become part of the earth, your story lives on, and gives new stories birth. Never forget, through the joy and the hurt, you have to wake up tomorrow, and complete your life’s work.
You are here for a reason, to find your passionate purpose, and only hard work will let passion surface. You’re on an endless search to find your life’s grind, and to create a passion which can consume all your time. Try just for a moment to see through your mind’s eye, and it is from that point where you can begin your climb high. You’re not just a passenger on a leisurely ride, so grab the keys and throw the car in drive. There is never a promise it will be easy or fun, but I can promise you this…you are not done. – CPT Ryan
August 14, 2017
What Lies Beneath
Where and when do you find the best version of yourself? Society would have you believe your best version lives on the red carpet, where you are draped in only the finest clothing, garnished in the most expensive jewelry, sparkling under the flashes of a thousand cameras, and beloved by friends, family, and thousands of adoring followers. This belief has become so heavily ingrained in us, that we will do anything and everything possible just to prove to the outside world, and even ourselves, we have secured our spot on the coveted red carpet of life. Furthermore, we will hang on to that spot with reckless abandon, even at the cost of who we who we really are, what we really want, and reaching our full potential.
As vindicating as it may feel to show the world you have reached the pinnacle of self-development from the picture perfect stage of glitz and glam, where you have seemingly achieved everyone else’s wildest dreams and expectations, the very best version of you is lying somewhere beneath that red carpet, just dying to come out. The best of you will only be exposed when the carpet is pulled out from under you, where you can no longer depend on the clothes, the jewelry, the cameras, and supporters, to give you what you think you need in order to make you feel successful.
Sometimes the best thing that can ever happen is for you is to lose it all, when you are all of a sudden forced to see that the only person you need to depend on to find true happiness and fulfillment in this life is yourself. If you can’t depend on yourself, that means you have to depend on everything, and everyone, else in order to fill in the gap. Don’t be afraid to pull the carpet out from under your life sometimes in order to find the way back to yourself, because it’s not the fall from it we fear, it’s what we will find underneath. – CPT Ryan