News & Updates
April 16, 2018
It will not always be clear. You will not always know what it is you want, what your vision looks like, or what your purpose is. It may feel as though you are just blindly wandering along, not really knowing if anything you are doing is really going to help some higher cause, or take you to a place of fulfillment. These feelings are inevitable, and they are just as much a part of the process as defining your passion, your purpose, and your plan. It is in these times where you’ll find the importance of, at a minimum, prescribing to an ideal.
Although goals, plans, and visions can provide us comfort and motivation in the darkest of hours, just because you don’t have them doesn’t mean you are altogether lost. Sometimes the only guiding light you will have is an ideal, or a concept which is completely formless, but holds a deep meaning to you somehow. As you embed these principles into all that you do, slowly a vision will form through opportunity, and that vision will eventually give way to passion, which will power your purpose. You may even know exactly what it is you want to do, but it doesn’t exist yet, in which case you need to derive courage from those ideals, so you can go out and create exactly what you see in your mind.
You don’t always have to know exactly where you’re going in order to know you are eventually going to get there, and your fire doesn’t always need a blueprint in order to burn. Don’t settle for mediocrity in the face of blindness; just because you may not be able to see your future today, doesn’t mean it won’t exist, and just because it doesn’t exist, doesn’t mean you can’t create it. So set chase to that which cannot yet be seen, led only by a trust in a concept, and a passion for change, and open your eyes to a reality you never imagined possible. – CPT Ryan
April 9, 2018
Leave Me Behind
I follow you everywhere you go, I precede you everywhere your headed, and I stay behind everywhere you’ve been. Sometimes I can be the furthest thing from your mind, and other times I will consume your every thought and every action. I will require the utmost commitment throughout your life, but even if you stray away, and we lose touch, our relationship can always be rekindled and repaired, as long as you are willing to put in the work.
My existence is based solely on character. I have little interest in skill, accomplishments, accolades, or defeats. Character. That’s what I care about. I don’t just want to know about what you did for people, I want to know how you made them feel, how you affected the paths of their lives, and how you changed their outcomes in a positive way; all of which I expect to drive you through your own adversity, laziness, and impulsivity, by igniting the flame of passion and laying a foundation of purpose.
I am your legacy, and my life is in your hands. I can live forever, or you can take me to the grave with you. It all depends on whether or not you are willing to sacrifice, whether or not you are willing to suffer, and whether or not you are willing to work. You let me live, and in return, I give you a life worth living, worth loving, and worth calling your own. Now that we’re acquainted, we’ve got work to do, because everyday is another opportunity to leave me behind for an eternity, so let’s get going. – CPT Ryan
February 26, 2018
Read For Swagger
I just don’t care anymore. I can’t. Ever since I found what it is I was meant to do, and what I was truly passionate about, I stopped caring altogether. I don’t care that it doesn’t make sense to you. It shouldn’t. I don’t care that you wouldn’t do it if you were me. You’re right. This is my grind. My dream. My life. It has nothing to do with you, unless you’re part of my tribe…in which case you better believe I’m the ride or die you want in your corner, because I don’t even care about my own welfare when it comes to my team.I don’t care about what’s never been done before. That’s what I want. That’s what I need. I can’t do it like everyone else. It’s not in my DNA, and it’s certainly not in my plan. I can’t just read the book, I need to be the book. I want to be the one who showed up, guided by passion and fueled by purpose, who dropped a change bomb on the world that suddenly became the new “way to do it”, haters and naysayers be damned.I don’t care if you think this side of me is too bold, too reckless, or even downright arrogant. That’s the perk of figuring out who you are, and where you want to be. I don’t have time to care about what you think anymore. I don’t care if it’s hard, I don’t care if it hurts, I don’t even care if I fail, because even if I fail 100 times, you better believe I’m coming back for that 101. My life is no longer ruled by that which I can’t have an effect on. My life is now ruled by my passion, my purpose, and my people. As for all the rest…well…I could really care less.
February 12, 2018
Don’t Let the Bastards Get You Down
The snipers are out there…waiting. Waiting to shoot down your pride, hamper your progress, and destroy your purpose. Waiting to take shots at your new ideas, deflate your lofty goals, and destroy your unreasonable dreams. Their aim is your heart and mind, along with any place else they can make it hurt, using your shortfalls and self-doubt as their ammunition. And all along, it is their own desperate sense of self-loathing, lingering insecurities, and missed opportunities that drive them to pull that reassuring trigger.To them I say: Take. The f*king. Shot. Seriously, just take it. Take the shot, because more times than not, I’m on the move and you’re going to miss. Take the shot to remind me to keep going. Get some hits even, because the occasional hit will ignite me, expose where I need work, and keep me hungry. Fire away, I don’t mind, because when you pull the trigger,you commit to exposing who you are, what you fear, where you are weak, and when life makes you uncomfortable, all of which I truly hope you someday overcome.Don’t let the bastards get you down. They’re always going to be out there, just waiting for a chance to take that shot at you; because it’s easier to take a shot at someone else, than it is for them to take a look at the person in the mirror. Expect it. Every endeavor, every sacrifice, and every triumph will always be riddled with the bullets of those not daring enough to confront who they are, in order to realize who they could be. Let’s face it, none of us are bulletproof, but we are all capable of surviving the hits along the way, just muster the courage to keep going and it will all be worth it in the end.
December 4, 2017
Lost in Thought
If thoughts are the spark, then words are the fire. As important as it is to have a vision, to see a path to your purpose, and to obsess about your passion, sometimes it’s hard to get the wheels in motion. Be it fear, lack of self-confidence, or devoted opposition, the greatest version of ourselves can sometimes become stifled, and ultimately lost in thought forever if we let it. When that happens, it’s not time to quietly sit back watch life pass you by, it’s time to free your mind through speaking your mind, because if you can think it, you can speak it; and if you can speak it, you can seek it.
When you know you are meant to do something in life, so much so that it resonates through ever fiber in the very fabric of your soul, you can’t just allow your fears to silence it, you need to speak it. You need to speak it like it’s a language unto itself, one which only you can truly understand, issuing yourself such a bold challenge you will have no choice but to take action and grind forward, day in and day out, just so you can put your money where your mouth is.
Spark thoughts, and spit fire. Tell not only the world, but yourself, what the deal is, and how you plan to seal it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting your back against the wall and forcing yourself to fight forward, because that’s when we fight the fiercest, when it’s do or die and there’s no exit strategy. Set the ultimatum by speaking the ultimatum, and take yourself from being lost in thought, to finding the life you always dreamt of was only a few bold verbs away. – CPT Ryan
November 21, 2017
It’s the uncontrollable, nauseating, pit in your stomach. It’s the sweat in your palms, and running down your back, as a flush of heat comes over your face. It’s the heartbeat thumping out of your shirt, slamming its way up into your throat one thunderous beat at a time. And it’s the uncontrollable shaking in your knees, down into your calves, as the adrenaline courses through your veins, desperately wanting to make contact with the ground like some wild lighting rolling in on the storm. These aren’t the feelings of a near death experience, however, this is how it feels to go “all in”.
It’s no coincidence that going all in on something has the same unmistakable trademarks of a near death experience, because it’s an exercise in finality. It’s an eternal sacrifice of what you are, towards what you want to become, and the permanence of that change is terrifying. So sometimes we decide the stakes of going all in are too high, so we resort to the “fall in”. We keep doing what is comfortable, staying noncommittal, half-assedly throwing our hats into a few rings, hoping we miraculously fall into something great without the stress and anxiety of betting the farm on our vision.
You will never just fall into your vision, and even if you did, it would mean nothing without commitment. With commitment comes sacrifice, sacrifice creates meaning, and meaning drives purpose. So when you finally decide to go all in on something, you are effectively setting into motion a perpetual cycle of purpose fueled by commitment, which will be equally as rewarding as it is terrifying. Stop hoping to fall into your life, and start going all in on your life, because the stakes are high, and a lot could go wrong, but nothing as wrong as a life unfulfilled by the unnerving thrill of committing to something greater than yourself. – CPT Ryan
October 2, 2017
You Are Not Done
You are not done. Not even close. You may have fallen or peaked, lost or won, but no matter the case, you are not done. Life is nothing but ups and downs, twists and turns, and if you are living with fire, you’re bound to get burned. But don’t let the trials dampen your flame, because in the end, they’re never to blame. So pick yourself up, and rage like the sun, because I can tell you for sure, that you are not done.
You’re in a story which must be lived to be told, and it may not be clear until you’re wise, gray, and old. But the very last page ends the same as page one, you may be a lot of things, but you are not done. You are not done ’til you draw you last breath, and even with that, there is life after death. Because after your gone, and become part of the earth, your story lives on, and gives new stories birth. Never forget, through the joy and the hurt, you have to wake up tomorrow, and complete your life’s work.
You are here for a reason, to find your passionate purpose, and only hard work will let passion surface. You’re on an endless search to find your life’s grind, and to create a passion which can consume all your time. Try just for a moment to see through your mind’s eye, and it is from that point where you can begin your climb high. You’re not just a passenger on a leisurely ride, so grab the keys and throw the car in drive. There is never a promise it will be easy or fun, but I can promise you this…you are not done. – CPT Ryan
July 31, 2017
A World Apart
I know where you live. It is a place which is heard but not seen, impartial but not fair, and right in front of everyone, but always behind their backs. It is a place where opinions are formed by insecurity, where facts are skewed by jealousy, achievement is marred by resentment, and all that is good is perceived as a threat. It is a place masquerading as “knowing better”, but in the background fear of the unknown runs wild, perpetually being covered up by the highly sought after “I told you so’s” and empty bravado.
This dark world is not singular in nature, as it is comprised of an unlimited array of locations, forms, and constructs. It is in comment sections and anonymous responses, chat room threads and locker room walls, tweets, posts, notes, texts, blogs, columns, commentaries, and conversations. It is a world that can consume its inhabitants, just as much as it can consume those whom it is trying to dismantle. And it is a world where the perpetrators generally go unpunished, while the victims are left to quietly shoulder the burden of this trolling society.
This is not my world. This is not where I live. Although your world has caught me a few times, and I have even faltered into some of its practices, you will never consume me. I live in a world enamored by the unattainable, enabled by the struggle, and enthralled with the risk. I live in a place where I am motivated when other people succeed, a motivator when they fail, and both outcomes fuel my passion and create my purpose. The solitary thing our worlds have in common is a chase for something we’ll never catch; I will keep chasing perfection, while you keep chasing me…and quite honestly, I like it that way.