July 11, 2017
Shadow Of A Doubt
I’ve been a little off lately, so I need you to doubt me. I’ve been feeling tired, drained, and run down, so help me out and just doubt me. I’ve been questioning the path I’m on, the choices I’ve made, and committing self-sabotage, so all I need you to do is doubt me. I’m starting to think maybe I’m not good enough, smart enough, in shape enough, or as good as the competition, so please, I am begging you, just doubt me. And I’m beginning to lose faith in my dreams, my vision, my passion, and my plan, so just do me a favor…and doubt me.
Doubt me now so I can rekindle that fire I once had when I first set out on my journey. Doubt me so I can stop focusing on my own self-doubt, and start focusing on proving you wrong. Doubt me so I will go back to the grind of working day and night, fueled by the fatigue of outworking you, while I forge my new reality. And tell everyone else you know to go ahead and start doubting me too, because eventually I’m going to get tired of proving just you wrong. So pack them in all the way up to the nosebleeds and give them some popcorn, I’m gonna need an audience for this one.
Sometimes I get mixed up and start thinking I need your approval more than I need your doubt. Then I remember how little I accomplish when the cards are all stacked in my favor, and everyone is in my corner telling me how great I am. Your approval won’t get me that extra inch, step, mile, or rep. It won’t give me that competitive edge or that chip on my shoulder. And it certainly won’t keep me going when I’m exhausted, broken down, and just want to quit. But your doubt will. So hand it over, I’ve got stuff to do, and I don’t want to leave any doubt that I’m going to get it done. – CPT Ryan